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Tiny Wisdom: On Seeking Answers

Buddha Statue

“Silence is a source of great strength.” ~Lao Tzu

Sometimes, when we feel stressed, frustrated, annoyed, confused, overwhelmed, or anything uncomfortable, it can seem tremendously helpful to talk about it incessantly.

But I've noticed that venting is often far less effective than I assume it will be. If you've ever talked yourself in circles instead of communicating and letting go, you know precisely what I mean.

All the words in the world can't change the fact that sometimes we just need to sit with our feelings. No amount of validation, advice, or external support will change that we alone need to choose solutions to our problems and then find the strength to implement them.

Other people can be there to help us, but at the end of the day, we need to find the answers within ourselves and then draw upon our own strength to do something about it.

Today, if you wish someone else would tell you what to do, take a moment to sit with the sensation of not knowing. You just may find it becomes a lot clearer when you stop looking for answers outside yourself.

Big Buddha statue image via Shutterstock

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. Her latest bookTiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal, which includes 15 coloring pages, is now available for purchase. For daily wisdom, follow Tiny Buddha on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram..

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  • Sarah Jeanne

    I’ve been reading up on this very subject lately and according to the research I’ve read – you’re right on. But one thing that’s been suggested is writing, for about 15 minutes or so for a few days in a row, about something that happened that still bothers you or something you are having trouble sorting through. The process of writing about it, and coming back to it, can help gain perspective and new insight into whatever the problem is and is a far more productive way of thinking through something than just blabbing on about it. Funny how the right path rarely matches up with the intuitive response to a problem..

  • Thanks for adding this! I was a prolific journaler in my teens and early 20s and I really enjoyed having that outlet. What I notice in looking back is that I journaled in two distinct ways: to complain/blame other people, and to discover solutions. So long as I was willing to take responsibility, the experience helped moved me forward. I think in the end, a lot of it comes down to self awareness about our motivations, intentions, and desires.

  • Lena

    I definitely have a tendency to “talk it out” .. and incessantly as you put it!! While discussion is good, a little peaceful self reflection alone would probably do me more good. Thanks for your wonderful articles, please keep them coming :))

  • Hi Lori,

    I’ve found that often I already know the answers once I’m still enough to listen to what my inner wisdom is telling me. Silence, then, provides the means to hear it.

  • Sometimes I squirm. I pick up the phone to call and reach out. In the end it’s so true…there is the one answer I really need hidden in the silence if I will be quiet and patient enough to listen.

  • You’re most welcome. Thanks for reading!

  • I find that, as well. When I talk myself in circles, it’s usually because I’m looking for someone to support my gut instinct. I’m learning to not need that, but rather to simply trust myself!

  • I think this is pretty common. It’s tempting to look to everyone else for answers, particularly in the digital age where we can ask large amounts of people for their opinions with one tweet, email, or update. Just sitting in stillness and silence can be so uncomfortable sometimes, but I’m always glad when I take the time to do it!

  • Margot

    Wow, did you ever hit me square in the chest with this post – Thanks someone needed to tell me this sooooo badly! The Universe works in mysterious ways – love it.

  • I’m glad you found it helpful!

  • Svetok-majorova

    Hello! I think when we have a lot of problems we already bear inside the decision, but often we’re just afraid of being responsible for such deisions and want to put elsewhere. threby we ask someone answer maybe to rethink. But within ourself there is a really true answer, I’m sure 🙂

  • ericandthelakees .

    You can’t change the world, but you can INFLUENCE IT!