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Tiny Wisdom: Missing Out Can Be a Good Thing

“The next message you need is always right where you are.” -Ram Dass

Everything seems urgent in an always-on world, where we can access each other at any time. When we’re not engaging through emails, @replies, and Skype messages, we frequently check various online portals to keep up with who’s doing what and what’s trending. Even if we manage to tune everything out, we often end up feeling distracted.

There’s a bustling world of instant updates and constant connection that never sleeps, and it lives on our desks, in our purses, in our pockets.

Who knows what we’ll miss if we disappear into our own space for a while. Researcher Linda Stone refers to this as continuous partial attention—living life with one eye on technology to feel busy, included, recognized, and important.

While these all sound like positive things, the compulsion to receive them can leave us feeling unfulfilled and even powerless.

Until recently, I refused to buy a cell phone with Internet access for this very reason. Despite maintaining a consistent mindfulness practice, I sometimes struggle with the urge to answer one more email, respond to one more blog comment, or monitor the different places where Tiny Buddha has a presence.

It’s tempting to be always-on, but that means we’re never here. The only way to be available for what’s in front of us is to be less available for everything else.

This means we really hear what our friends are saying in front of us instead of checking to see what other friends are tweeting. It means that we stop watching our email accounts like pots that won’t boil and really taste the tea we may otherwise multitask. It means we stop feeling like the narrators of our lives—sharing everything the moment it happens—and instead feel fully alive in our experiences.

The web is a sticky place, and we can easily get lose here if we’re determined to stay informed and connected. There’s nothing wrong with using technology–it certainly enhances our lives. We just need to know when to disconnect from the stream so that we don’t disconnect from ourselves.

Photo by laineybugger

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people overcome internal blocks to meeting their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here.

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