Dear jsd32:

Thank you for the thorough response. As I see you, you are a sophisticated person, not easy to understand. So I am reading between your lines. And i will jump in with my first thought:

Separation anxiety- did you suffer from separation anxiety when you were a child, when your parent/s left to work, dreading they will not return, feeling scared and lonely in their absence… something like that? Were you left alone for to long?

anita