Thank you for your reply Anita.

It’s as if you would know more about him, which is entirely correct, he carries his past with him, unfortunately, and that is correct…he is not at fault nor was he born this way.

His mother left them, when he was a young teen, for about a year. Without warning or explanation. His father and mother always had a very complex marriage as far as he can remember (his own words). He never did feel at peace or loved growing up. He later felt a sense of being when he met his then girlfriend, they later got engaged. That ended terribly for him as she had cheated on him numerous times when he was deployed. That took him into a deep depression that lead to his release from duty as they thought his mental/emotional instability made him incompetent for their high demands.

We tried therapy the first time around, before breaking up. At first, he was optimistic and felt it was the best thing we could do, even though I was the one that dragged him there. It only took 3 therapy sessions for him to call it quit. He is aware that his demons, as he calls it, from his past affect his present and will always be present now or in the future. He is extremely stubborn and thinks/states he is auto sufficient and no one can help him, as he needs no one but him, and me, to get him thru this. The first time around, I promised him and I tried my best to help him. There was a night I recall we talked for hours and hours about his past. He cried, I cried. It was so good to hear him open up about things so deep that he had never spoken about with anyone. I started to put some of the missing puzzle pieces together. And understand him in such a way I never did before. Prior to this long talk, I thought all his scares and insecurities came from his ex-fiancé. These were battle scares much greater.

I felt an obligation to him after that. I felt I needed to keep my promise to him, no matter what. For the love I have for him as my partner, and for the person that he is. I tried and tried, until I realized I was only hurting myself. I started to realize there was no way I could help someone who didn’t want to help himself but depended on someone to do it for him.

Do you think it’s possible to get thru this dilemma without him seeking therapy/counseling?