Dear Cath:

When you are stuck in a situation, in a mental situation and a physical situation, and it seems to me that you are stuck in both, it is very, very difficult to make a change happen. See, when you are stuck, you hope and wait and hope and wait for a change

You asked: “is it ever going to change?” This is a characteristic of being stuck: you wait for a change to happen to you.

I can’t think of a way to un- stuck yourself other than you making a change, you becoming the active subject in the sentence, the subject bringing about the active verb.

It also seems to me, that it may be a good idea for you to no longer wait for your PhD answers, or wait only for a short time more, and then move out of the home of your parents and the town where your ex lives.

If you remove yourself from the physical situation where you live, you will not have to deal with your mother and you will not be geographically close to the ex.

It took me only a few moments to type this post with what I think you should do. For you to do what I suggest takes way more than a few moments of typing into the computer screen. I am well aware of it, that is why I used the words “very, very difficult” above.

But it sure would be refreshing to read one day, sooner than later, I hope, that you moved out of that house, that you are on your own someplace else, unstuck!

anita