Anita,

Yes I do still live with my parents, as I cannot work enough to afford to move out while still attending college. My parents, especially my mom could be categorized as helicopter parents, always around, and trying to get you to do thing. Recently, what they seem to be disapproving of is my choice in major in college. I’m choosing to major in Studio Art with a K-12 teaching endorsement, and no, it’s not the most stable career, but I work my butt of to be good at what I do and I take opportunities to give me an edge once I complete my degree, yet they don’t seem thrilled at all, and weren’t when I made the decision. A lot of their disapproval comes in the form of arguments with my mom.

I had asked her opinion on going to a different college, which is a 45 minute drive from where I live, and commuting every day I had class. She always tries to guilt me in a way, saying “this wouldn’t be the right decision for me but it could be for you.” Which is frustrating, especially while living at home, because I know I would hear about it every day if I made the “wrong decision” in her eyes. Also, because I was even considering such a thing she told me she was questioning my judgment and decision making skills. I hadn’t even fully decided, and was just having a conversation about it. When I found out her opinion of that and me I was getting upset, and it showed in facial expression, etc. She told me not to ask for her opinion again if this is how it was going to be. I can understand her point to an extent, but she’s my mom, I wanted to have a conversation with her about it, and to see she opposed so greatly, was upsetting to me.

When I was younger, I kind of had an attitude about some things, which probably could have been different on my part, but when my mom doesn’t back off a little and give some space, it’s frustrating. I overheard her call me a b**ch to my dad one time. Another incident, she had told me not to get into another car with a teenager until I was comfortable driving myself. I had just started driving at the time so I guess kind of a reasonable request on her part, but again kind of overprotective. One day an orchestra group I was in, took a walk (some members drove) to the grocery store up the street and we just practiced playing for people that came by. Well, turns out my parents were there watching, and I had no idea. I ended up getting into the car with one of my friends (it was cold that day, I walked to the store, but didn’t want to get colder walking back). It was literally a minute from school, not even driving on major streets, and slow speeds because it was a neighborhood. But of course, my parents saw, and my mom was furious, probably mostly because I told her I walked back to school. So yes, on my part, it wasn’t that great of a decision to lie about it, but my mom turning that into “I don’t know if I can trust you to tell me the truth from now on.” When I didn’t do that kind of thing often, seemed a little ridiculous to me.

Hopefully I answered your questions, if anything is unclear, let me know and I’ll try to fix it.

amde20