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Dear amde20:
In your last example, your mother took one incident and turned it into an eternal thing “from now on”. She took one convenient lie on your part and turned it into an issue of eternal trust about any and every topic. Seems to me that she may be extreme, an all-or-nothing kind of thinker, making a big deal out of a small thing. That would explain you making such a big deal out of those 30 seconds. It would make sense to me that you internalized this making-a-big-deal attitude of your mother and now it is working as part of your own thinking.
I commend you for choosing the major you are interested in even though she disapproved of it. This means you are not completely under the spell of her disapproval. I am glad.
In her saying: ““this wouldn’t be the right decision for me but it could be for you.” This means that… you are selfish and wrong to consider your own best interest, your own well being? Bad message to send you.
Well, your Inner Critic, your mother, internalized into your brain, is something for you to pay attention to and attend to. There are ways to weaken that Inner Critic, that inner voice, that voice that rains on your parade. Recognize it when it gives you its commentary and say: ah, I know who this is. Over time, paying attention, you can develop a counter voice, your own, to take the place of your mother’s voice within you.
anita