Hi am gonna go back to the starting section again since something happened on that part again and i need someone to help me.. I’m terribly confused. I actually started behaving weird with this guy and kept on hurting him saying that this wont work and tried to get away from him for continuous 3-4 days that’s the longest i haven’t spoken to him as of now/. I go back to him like a puppy. He on the other hand.. says what we have is not for sex.. we haven’t done anything so far.. its just understanding each other and being there for one another. He checks on me periodically he lives in US and i live in India.. Still we have been in touch for like 2 years now. We share ideas, talk about general interests.. i like him so much.. but on the other hand. i cannot live like this all through my life via online and that too with a married man. even though he has issues and he says i understand him and so and so..he cannot come out of that life to me neither will i want him to. he is just a good pal. And since im alone most of the time I’m unable to have self control and stop texting him or be strong in cutting contact with him.. i deliberately cried to him one day to block me.. and not text me or reply to my messages.. He says its me who has issues and so why he should go.. Karma wise i feel like hurting someone when he really needs help if he finds peace in talking to me i feel selfish to spat im out. But on the other hand. its my life which is going through lots of crap… there are some days where i had to share some stuff to him but he wont be there.. and i have series of episodes of fights with him ruining his sleep and peace. clearly im just looping this without ending.. he wont let him go im unable to let him go.. i dunno whats gonna happen here.