Dear xaas:

What act of redemption might an abuser perform to be forgiven by the abused?

The abuser has no right to be forgiven. If he is indeed forgiven, that would be a gift.

Acts of redemption: paying for good psychotherapy, other financial help to make healing available for the victim. Being honest about his motivations and the abuse done, not minimizing it, no blaming the victim, but taking responsibility for his actions.

Not blaming the victim for being angry, for suffering the consequences of the abuse. Being patient and supportive. Not expecting or demanding forgiveness.

anita