Thanks Anita, I’ll make a point of opening up a little bit in future.

For now I’ll just add that I think in many ways the toughest hand a child can be dealt is to get an abusive – or otherwise inadequate – mother. Tough in the sense that it is extremely difficult to open up about this topic as the world has a tendency to blindly believe in the inevitability of a mother’s love for her children. The unfortunate consequence is that when one tries, tentatively at first, to speak out, one is often …. what’s the word….. disbelieved isn’t quite right……..hmmmm…. I think what I mean is one meets with a wall of incomprehension. And, of course, it is then easier to turn the blame for being unloveable back on yourself. After all it is an immutable law that all mothers love their children, right?

Happily my inner children (why stop at one!) and my adult selves are now starting to understand that we are loveable just as we are. As you say, it takes time and patience.