Dear tontonyanou:

you wrote above about your parents that they encouraged you to do the things you wanted to do, only “They put pressure on me to accomplish these things that I want as if the result was worth more that the thing itself”

The way I understand it is that they made the THINGS you wanted to accomplish important, and they made the PERSON wanting to accomplish those things (you) not important.

They focused on the things, not on the person doing the things, putting pressure on the person to do the things, as if it was the things that would bring you mental health.

So now, when you want to do things, you too focus on the results, as if the person doing the things is not important.

For improvement of your mental health, can you aim at not continuing your parents’ very mistaken understanding, and with your new understanding, operate for your benefit and not against it by focusing on the person doing the things, and not on the things themselves. Ask yourself throughout the doing of a thing: how am I feeling now? Take breaks to calm down. be mindful, pay attention. It will take time and lots of patience through some distress to learn to change your focus. It is not easy and fast to do.

Please do post anytime.

anita