Dear eris:

Time and patience is the only way to heal from such a deep, ongoing injury that happened in our formative years, when we were formed. Self doubt, my mother attacking my very thinking, again and again, telling me how wrong I was thinking and promoting her distorted thinking, was very harmful to me as it took away from me my ability to think through her abuse of me, to call it what it is and it kept me stuck.

For example she told me I was wrong to remember what she told me in anger. She said: Everybody knows (as in saying: you should know, stupid, EVERYBODY knows) that whatever a person says in anger, they don’t mean it, and you are not supposed to remember it after (her) anger is gone. So, I felt like a weirdo and like a bad person for remembering what she told me in anger (and she said a whole lot in anger).

Regarding disagreeing, your note above, before I figure that I disagree with you, I will ask clarification of what you meant by this or that, so that once I understand, then I know if at all I disagree with you.

anita