Dear dogbat:

Your question is how to rekindle your fire and feel confident to be yourself even though the people around you don’t want you to be yourself. My answer is Courage, the courage you have to have to come out of submission.

You adapted to the new country, new family, unfulfilling job by submitting, by being passive, and so you became naturally angry. Holding that anger in wreaks havoc in a person, any person.

So no other way than to assert yourself and continue to assert yourself in spite of the objection of the people who want you to submit (they, especially mother in law, will not be happy!)

Can you come up with opportunities you can see now, situations where you can assert yourself next? You can practice here by planning what to say and do differently, assertively in a situation where you were submissive, passive before.

We can look into such a situation and then prepare for the next, following the response to your assertiveness.

anita