Dear Rita:

You are doing the right thing. Be strong. I understand you being afraid and having doubts, but in reality you are doing the right thing. The mean things he tells you are mean and cruel. Living with a mean and cruel man is so very wrong, for you and for your child. His meanness and cruelty are great especially knowing you don’t have friends in the area.

You feel that you are the bad person, but in reality, it is he who is the bad person. Every time you feel that you are the bad person, please think of it as your insane belief, as in having no validity in reality.

When he tells you the mean things he does, his intent is to make you feel that you are the bad person and so, he intends, your doubts will make you obey him.

If I was in your place, I will do anything it takes to no longer live with him. Whatever it takes, short of anything criminal that will put you in prison. Of course, if you stay with him, that will be prison.

So freedom is a worthy pursuit, freedom from abuse.

Do not give in to his attempts, do not show him his manipulation works because then he will do more and more of what he is doing. Be as calm as you can be, aware of what is happening, resolute, not changing your mind.

I don’t know the country you are in, or the area, but if it takes going to a hotel, if you have the money, do that. If you don’t have the money, go to a police station or any kind of shelter until he moves out, I would definitely take my son and a few things and go there, be elsewhere until he leaves.

Please post anytime.

anita