@time-to-heal : Hi, thanks for your reply! Yes, my anxiety picked up over time and it started from high school. I was in a competitive environment, and throughout the time I was there, I truly felt that I was not good enough. I started doing more and more everytime, hoping to get recognition and well, it increased my fear of failure. Right now, whether it is a social situation or an academic issue, I will admit that I have a great fear of failing. More often than not, I get severe panic attacks and I am unable to do anything. I will try making more friends who have a different outlook on issues like you said and hopefully it gets better! Thank you for reading!

@anita: Hi, thank you for reading my post and for replying! I have undergone counseling and it has alleviated some of the pressure I put on myself and I think it has taught me how to identify my anxiety/panic attacks when they occur. Unfortunately, I still have them very frequently (almost everyday in fact when I am studying) and I can only remind myself that it will pass. My life prior to high school was smooth-sailing and I am very grateful for that. However, high school was the first time I experienced bullying and failure simultaneously, which I think led me to become fearful of rejection and failure in life. Even in middle and elementary school, grades did not matter to me (probably because I was very lucky to do decently well) and I was happy playing with friends most of the time.

@vandroiy: Hello, thank you so much for your reply! Yes, I am extremely concerned about my academics because I have an unhealthy fear of failure. There are times after exams when I am positive that I had failed when I did not in the end. The problem is, I study regularly. I do not fall behind in class (my anxiety would not allow me to do that anyway) but no matter how much I do, I am somehow still convinced that I am likely to fail. I have really tried telling myself that this is irrational and that I have already studied enough, but eventually the panic attacks still come. Nonetheless, I will keep your reminder in my head that certificates are not everything! Thank you for the timely reminder!

To everyone who has replied me, I am very very grateful for your replies! Thank you for taking out time and effort to offer me advice. My anxiety has been with me for years, and the fear has only increased my studying efforts (I find myself studying more and more with every new semester) and yet the fear does not abate. I am frankly very worn out mentally from just the worrying and I am very comforted that there are people like you guys out there who are willing to offer advice! It really means alot to me. Thank you!!!