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Thank you Anita – I completely agree. I have done peaceful parenting courses, had many therapists, read the whole library if parenting without yelling books…done NVC, happiness courses, I avoid caffeine alcohol sugar – I exercise most dats, I meditate – I say ti myself everyday that I will Ve gentle living responsive and respectful….
I’m just so overwhelmed, so lonely, so sad – but I cannot cry. It just builds up to a rage.
Everyday I set myself goals, fun things to do – it just feels too much.
It isn’t natural to parent alone and not have any support. I am so ashamed of who u have become.
If I could take a pill and it stop me having this rage, I’d take it.
DH now realises what effect he has had on our family. For years he sold my kids toys bikes etc etc – the more it ride to build a home, the more he tried to pick it apart.
I’m so ashamed I stayed in this situation and now, I’m at the stage that I lack resource to move on. And really I have nowhere safe to move to. I keep dreaming there’s a living supportive peaceful parenting commune for single mind! With just a bit of support I can hold all this – with some resonance.
Mi appreciate any input you give me. I’m desperate! I never ever want to react again in this damaging way.
Know that any time or resource you give me will be appreciated