Dear arguseyed:

As to your last two lines: it makes sense that when you remember how you were hurt, you also feel resentful, or angry. It is natural to feel angry when feeling hurt, anger often follows feeling hurt.

I hope you do find one friend with whom you can relate and have a good time.

One thing you repeated again and again in your other posts was that your parents did not/ do not support you, and I am very sorry that this is the case. It must have been very lonely to grow up without support, without close connection with a parent, or friends. I know such a childhood from my own experience. My loneliness was intense and my depression so deep.

I am sure it is difficult to find competent therapy. I had difficulty as well and find my first competent, caring therapist when I was 50 years old, five years ago. I hope you can find such at a younger age than I did.

How is it for you living with your parents? I understand it is culturally acceptable where you live, but how does it feel for you? Do you think it keeps you stuck in anxiety and depression, the fact you still live with them, 33 years and going?

anita