Dear Rita:

Him moving out is the right thing to be done. But it being the right thing for you and the kids doesn’t change the fact that you are afraid, afraid of all these changes and the unknown future. The fact that you are afraid and doubtful does not mean him moving out is the wrong thing, it only means you are afraid.

If he didn’t move out, you and the children would suffer. If he moved out, you still suffer. You have a choice between two kind of suffering. If he stays it will be one kind with no hope for a better future. If he moves out you will suffer but there will be hope for a better future.

Have faith that this is the right thing and endure this fear and suffering with the faith that the future will be better for his leaving.

Don’t give in to him and to your fear. When you gave in to him about staying another week, his reaction: say mean things to you.

See the difference between you and him? When you are afraid- you give in to him. When he is afraid- he says mean things to you.

You are very clear: “I don’t want to be with him.” I have no doubt this is true. You are also afraid. It is a big challenge to do what is right even though you are afraid. If you follow through regardless of your fear, you will build courage and be a stronger woman for it.

Follow through in spite of the fear. Once you act strong and assertive with him even though you are afraid, following acts of courage like that, you will be amazed. You will realize: I didn’t know I could do that! It will build in you confidence in your own power. And such a confidence will work miracles in your life. Seize this opportunity!

anita