Hi Wisdom,

So glad to hear you found something in these ideas. The mind is a slippery one!!!

Reflecting on what you said here… I will validate that what you are going through is so normal, and beating yourself up over the reoccurring pattern of thinking simply gives it more fuel. If I may suggest a few things to keep in mind over the next few days…..

1) The mind has momentum just like a boulder rolling down the hill. Retraining the mind (just like a muscle) is a discipline. So….may as well use some of that mind activity for a self love activity other than the constant barrage of self hurt. Create and use some space in the active mind to visualise you – when your mind is at peace, and you have a calm centre, and really know within, that this is you. Its there, and your thoughts are just making a very loud scenes inside your mind. Just like mine is 🙂

2) Forgive yourself – right now! It’s ok as it is! This stops the mind feeding itself even for a millisecond. Just keep forgiving, and forgiving….. We were not born with an instruction manual that our mind/thoughts can understand. It is written in a language only the heart can read. Your answers really are there, and just like reading a book, you can not read every page at the same time. The answer you need is there, but not when your mind instructs it. When you sense a space in your mind, or a quietness even for a moment….. don’t fill it. Allow it to be and see if a self loving thought takes its place naturally.

3) Worthy – Ok…. just like the momentum of the mind, this will take time. But be worthy for you and only you! You seek worthiness in others at a guess, because you have forgotten how to be worthy from within. Yet… here you are looking within, seeking and doing the work, taking steps, being disciplined. So your sense of worth can immediately start here – “I am being the best I can right now”. Even if this lasts a second or two – if was more than before.

4) Be patient – I love this saying….. You’re not having a life, you are life. The journey of life is the whole thing….. I can not remember the exact Buddha saying, but it something like….. Heaven on earth is here, Hell on earth is here… you get to choose. Knowing what to choose for yourself takes time…. and a whole lot of self love!

I hope this helps a bit, and take it is Wisdom! Go easy on yourself, as your healing is already underway, and just like cleaning up a muddy floor, you are bound to spread some mud around in the process.

Cheers

Evan