Inky and Kat. Thank you for your responses. My naturopath has me covered on the vitamin front. I have been taking Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5), a food-grade multi-vitamin, zinc carnosine, and zinc. For Vitamin D, it’s actually better to absorb it from the sun. My naturopath wants me to go out before my sunblock takes effect and make sure I get some color. I’m super pale, by the way so it’s a completely new way of thinking for me. Eventually, the plan is for me to keep adding new foods back into my diet so that I don’t need as much help with the vitamin supplementation. For vitamin B-complex, I found that Nutritional Yeast from the brand Barg’s to be really helpful. I am really relaxed whenever I eat it over soup. Overall, I have gotten to be a lot more energetic and I even tried out a muay thai kickboxing class that I’m thinking of joining that gym.

The only thing I have trouble with now is learning how to overcome my anxiety triggers. For example, that exam that I want to attempt but the thought of being conquered by it yet again sends my heart racing.

Inky, I’ve been told that I would be a good teacher by a couple of people. There were a couple times when I failed miserably at teaching in college and when I took a CELTA course, but I learned from those times and realized not everyone is going to have the same expectations of me. I did pass my CELTA, by the way but I was so scarred for a couple years after I took that course. I don’t feel like I’m ready for teaching piano yet. I felt like I ended up learning piano really fast that I didn’t focus on the basics. I’m currently taking lessons to try and get myself in playing mode. However, I’m willing to just take on casual students and see where that goes. Actually, I’m not sure I even want to teach piano, but I really want to see if I can start over in Japan while I’m still in my 20’s. In my heart and gut, I feel like I’m meant to go back to Japan for a while. My mother felt my going to Japan was a terrible idea and it set me back a few years in terms of job, but in a way I felt like it was meant to happen that way so I would be forced to look at all the unhealthy issues in my life at the time. Of course living there wasn’t perfect, but I felt like I was starting to come into my own felt my introverted personality fit in really well there. I have a lot of friends who have told me that they’re waiting for me to come back. I am finally having a social life after months of being at home and going on dates. I’m not saying that I want to give up the piano but I feel a call to try other things besides staying at home hours a day practicing. I think I want to try my hand at teaching English to little kids in Japan for a while and then maybe go back to school for piano pedagogy certification. I am toying with the idea to eventually get my teaching certification in piano pedagogy in Japan eventually but I’m not a 100% sure yet. I also need to think about if or when I come back to the US and what I would do for work then.
I think for right now I just need to learn how to deal with my triggers first so I’m not a total mess when I get these anxiety attacks.