Dear Sann:

Your new therapist sounds promising to me: his attitude regarding you being a human being and not a label (BPD), him being in therapy himself and expressing hope and trust in you healing. Healing from anxiety, the fear that paralyzes you in thinking, thinking and then, more thinking.

So his sleeping arrangement at work, you do know all about it. And so it seems he chose to not call you back. Or forgot. Doesn’t seem promising to me. I don’t think it matters if you speak to him again or not. Probably no loss and no gain for you. Except for the exercise, maybe. If the second time brings no favorable results for you, I’d give up then.

I understand about him being from another culture and maybe even having a wife (or wives) in another country. That could be a huge factor.. maybe (and I am only guessing because you don’t know), maybe he is faithful to a wife far away.

I sure hope you heal from your fears with therapy and taking little initiative steps. Really, what have you to lose but that low self opinion. If you try, initiate, surprise yourself with courage, you will be earning your own self respect. You will find yourself doing something you once were too scared to do, and that will be an exhilarating feeling and faith you didn’t have before. Faith in Sann-Can-do.

anita