Thankyou – I am sad that it didnt work out as well im so scared that I was even capable of doing that it scares me still to think that I was that out of control – your right it probably isnt a good idea to even think about being with him again I dont even think it is an option in my messed up head I think that I like him enough to make it work and I want him to make it work I dont know why because in my head I know thats not possible but my heart wants it to its like i cant let it go or something because I made a mistake
Yes it was the same friend but – she is sort of flighty with her plans so i had always had it in the back of my mind but then that same day she text me to see if i was interested which made me want to entertain the idea with him knowing that she may possibly back out anyway but i wanted to run it by him to let him know how i was feeling – this was while i was sober – after i did that his face kind of changed and i think may have triggered the fight later on while intoxicated . yes my friend said I was welcome to stay as long as I needed .