Hello anita,

I am grateful for your response. I feel like you understand, which is comforting to me. I am always afraid that people will not believe that I have been hurt, and I have spent time trying to somehow prove that my feelings are real and I am not just crazy. I have gone to many extremes and because of that, was not an easy child to deal with.. But I feel I was basically in this messy guessing game of “How do I receive love?”, which led me to have collected many unproductive behaviors along the way. I go in circles about this being all my fault and thinking that I will always be evil and unlovable. At the current moment I cannot explain how I feel though, things are shifting.

Thank you.