Dear Sann:

They told you when you called, that you are a strong person living in a foreign country. This is a very interesting point to me, fueling me to think further about fear, strength and weakness in general and as it relates to you, so I will be typing as I think and ask for your feedback, your input following this type-as-I-think post:

You, Sann, are very scared. Of this I have no doubt, and have known it for a long time: scared more than any other emotion. But you are not scared of living in a foreign country, you are scared about the things that hurt you in the past. You may not be scared of bees if you were never stung by a bee, but you are afraid of what already greatly hurt you in the past, repeatedly, over a long time.

You are afraid of rejection, of being ridiculed because you were, in reality, rejected and ridiculed. Did we communicate about it in the past? Your childhood experiences of rejection and ridicule? Did you mention this to the therapist/ others? I don’t remember….

anita