Dear grimsy:

I see. This injury of you growing up unloved is significant. As children we need to be loved and cannot be a good life without that much needed love. You still need it and you can’t get it from your mother. Your mother did not see your need for her love, did not see it in your eyes, in your voice, in your sad face…Do you know why baby-animals, humans included, have those round, cute faces? So the parents/ care takers will like us and take care of us…In your quest to be loved, your mother is the last place to go to.

Where then? If you can attend psychotherapy with a competent, caring (empathetic), hard working therapist, please do. The purpose: to acknowledge and process those hurt feelings of reaching out and being rejected by your mother. Once processed, those feelings will be less intense and you will be able to see what is in front of you for what it is instead of inaccurately projecting your mother (and father) into the person in front of you. This man online- after therapy, after some healing, you would be able to see “miss you” and take it in as a positive thing and not as It-is-not-enough.

With healing, you will be able to accept the love that is available for you, as little as it is at anytime, and appreciate it. You will be able eventually to Love and Be Loved in return.

Post anytime. I will reply every single time that you post.

anita