Hello,

In a world that teaches us to become successful, over-achievers, that grades us from the first moment we set our foot into school, that puts ‘happiness’ and success as the ultimate goal of existence, no wonder that a lot of people are not happy and satisfied with themselves. I am not sure what brought you to this state… probably something in your past that contributed to your low self esteem, possible social anxiety, and I think that the blend of it set these bad events on.. Or maybe as Inky said, a chemical dis balance in your body.. When we are over-exposure on light of ‘gadgets’, with poor nutrition, little social interactions, no physical activities… serotonin and endorphin in our body are cut. It contributes in feeling ‘lethargic’, sad, and not motivated. I see it a lot nowadays, especially with people who are ‘gamers’, ‘news junkies’ etc . Maybe this whole thing is a combination of these two factors, and few other more, and the real ‘cure’ is to attack it from different planes -psychological, physical and mental. I understand you are not motivated, but try something anyway, a new person to talk to, life-coach, counselor… Simple daily walk in the nature, at least 30 minutes. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to make the first step, sometimes life forces us to.

You got some wonderful thoughts in the previous posts, so I’d just like to add few minor things… About choosing to suffer. When someone says this, at first it looks, scary as a form of self sacrifice. But I just remembered.. I read interesting theory once, that sometimes it’s easier for our brain to brand us as ‘victims’ who suffer. Being victim means that you have a reasonable ‘alibi’ for many things- not to take responsibility for your life and misfortune. Sometimes (I repeat-sometimes), we grow fond of our prison of suffering, cause we are not certain how to find our way out and it’s scaring us. It’s not that we don’t wanna be happy and this is our natural state, but (sometimes), it’s just easier to give up and let go. Forgive me thousand times if I sound like that therapist (who is useless in my opinion), i don’t want you put additional pressure and blame on yourself, cause now you just need to heal from this state, one day at a time. But I am just giving a theory and idea, something to consider. Because very often our brain can play these kind of tricks on us, and we need to understand them in order to fight back.

It’s wonderful also that some of your friends gave you suggestions about what to do, but as you’ve noticed different things work for different people and don’t get frustrated if none of that interests you. You can’t force an interest or a hobby, so don’t worry. But I’d still insist at least to get out in nature and turn off the laptop for some time if it’s an issue. It always helps at least a little. You can get all the counseling in the world, but if the chemistry in your body is not right for some reason, you’d still feel bad not knowing why.

On the other hand, you reached out here and it’s a more than a good sign that you don’t wanna suffer, that part of you wants a way out. And having the will to get better is the first and most important step… Once you make it, you will find your way out sooner or later.

And if your job is the big source of your dissatisfaction, maybe when you feel ready, just start thinking what other option you have.. You don’t have to figure it out in one day… Just start writing down any crazy thought that crosses your mind. You never know, some of them might start making sense 🙂

And I’d also like to recommend a documentary that I personally found really refreshing when I felt ‘stuck’ in life and unhappy with myself.. It’s called ‘I am (2010)’. If nothing else it will be 90 minutes of fun ..