Dear Joanna2310:

I did not follow the specifics of your situation dilemma, only generalities. What I would suggest is that you send these grieving people a sympathy card or cards and assert yourself so to have no contact with them. Both then. In your assertion let them know you are not able to be in contact with them and you wish them well. Make it short, no long explanations, but short and sweet. The most important job you have here is to take good care of yourself. Everything else is secondary.

You can’t help what they say to others about you but I will not give them material to talk about, such as explanations and you sharing with them what is none of their business. Short and sweet.

Could that be a way to prevent chaos in your life and allow the inner peace you want back? I hope so. Let me know.

anita