Hi Anita

Thanks for the encouraging words. I do feel much stronger after a month of no contact, and thus i took my courage to decide that I will no longer escape the event because of her, and I did mentally prepare myself for her coming as well as not coming.
I think deep down I still had hopes that she would turn soft and gentle to me,and thus i was very friendly and was playful when i txted her, hoping she would at least be friendly or gentle. but that just doesn’t make sense. i mean, that doesn’t make sense until she really acts like so. As long as she is just sending me plain messages and still acts cool, all the things that i thought were just fantasies.

I have always known that challenges arise in a relationship, and I think true love doesn’t only mean you have strong care or feelings for that person, but it means those who stay with you at times of challenges, like if that person comes back after a million arguments and still want to reconcile with you, that is your true love. It’s always is the one who stays at times of stress, instead of the one who celebrates with you at times of happiness.
Love is a choice for me, that you choose to be with a person no matter what, but not act out of pure emotions. I chose to stay and tried to work with the relationship even after the cheating, i did. I am not perfect and I was very emotional after that, i accused her and said bad things that have hurt her, but she chose to leave in the end, because her emotional well being is also jeopardized because of how I reacted.
From her cheating, and her leaving me behind, I can say she is quite selfish, she didn’t consider how hurtful these two events could be to me. and yes Anita you are quite right, because If I were the one who made a stupid mistake by kissing my gf’s best friend, I would absolutely stop it from further going on,and would sort out one relationship at a time. I know how horrendous it can be to my partner, however dismissive and carefree that person is, at least we were committed.
And when i thought about that, I can see it very clearly.

Well i guess if it’s her telling, she would say I am too emotional and dismissive as a person to stay long term with. But I seem to care much less about, it’s her own perspective and her own projection.

Chau