Dear iamfree:

To be free of your anger about not being number one in your friend’s life, in others’ lives; to free yourself from wishing to remove your friend’s boyfriend and other friend from your friend’s life so that you will be the only one, what you have to do is attend psychotherapy- like I suggested you do and like you wrote to me that you will.

In psychotherapy you will learn that underneath this anger is a hurt little girl that you were and are still inside, a hurt little girl that was bullied in school, like you shared with me, bullied terribly and your parents did not stop the bullying, did not protect you. You were hurt then, day after day, year after year, with no one attending to you, no one stopping the bullying.

This hurt little girl is still you, angry at being bullied so much and for so long, hurt so terribly and being invisible, as no one saw your pain. If you were someone’s Number One, that someone would have seen your pain and would have saved you.

There is a whole lot of crying this little girl needs to do, crying in front of a competent, caring therapist who will see you hurt and let you know that your hurt matters, that your pain matters and should not have happened. You need to grieve that hurt, the injustice.

When you do, you will come out on the other side wiser and calmer, much calmer, at peace.

anita