Dear hopeful33:

I just lost my post to you!

I also left you another reply hours ago, after the last to which you replied and it strangely appeared on another person’s thread. Here it is: “One more thing: the fact that his mother went through all this trouble, that she had to go through all this trouble, is all the evidence you need that points to the fact that your ex boyfriend did indeed love you.anita”

Regarding your latest post above: I typed “therapist” with quotation marks because even if the person is a credentialed psychotherapist, I have no doubt he didn’t act as a therapist seeing your ex. He abused his position so to comply with your ex’s mother expressed desire for him to help her keep her son in the family, culture and country, and make him abandon all plans to have further contact with you. So it doesn’t matter to me, in my understanding, what credential he possessed when seeing your ex. The greatest use he made of his credential, if he had one, is to use it as “proof” to your ex that he is objective and neutral.

So he sat with your ex, asked all the questions, researched the situation thoroughly with your ex, looking concerned and empathetic to your ex’s distress, taking notes and finally he gave him the conclusion of what “really” happened. He used the information your ex gave him so to make sense (as distorted and untrue as it is) of the mother’s desire. The “therapist” probably shared her cultural view and interest. And so, your ex figures: here is someone neutral and he gives into his mother. Before the therapist he may have been partially angry with his mother for trying so hard to control his life. After the “therapist” his anger lessens and he moves on according to her plan with way less resistance.

Too bad for you and for him.

anita