Even from a male perspective (I’m a dude)- this sounds like you are unhappy now and will continue to be unhappy. And to be quite honest, it most likely will worsen over time. Your sobriety- I don’t know if this is something you ‘had’ to do or honestly chose for yourself, but regardless, it’s important for you to stay clean. An unhappy marriage will be soooo difficult to deal with and you most likely don’t want or need that.

Sounds like you have a decision to make and this is a decision that will need to be made now or later on. Your instinct is talking to you right now. Think about what happens if you get married. Does the act of getting married help your situation or the way you are feeling right now at all? And ask yourself honestly- will you be coming back to TinyBuddha or other internet forums with the same complaints, discomfort, unhappiness, etc? Does online venting help the situation? Is that good enough to help you endure each day?

It seems you are coming here anonymously to share your grief and internal struggle. A question to ask yourself honestly would be: How do I relieve myself of this grief? Again, you have a decision to make now or later on in your life. Same decision, with extraneous items developing along the way which can make making this decision even more complex as time goes by.