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Karmasoda

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  • #108592
    Karmasoda
    Participant

    Even from a male perspective (I’m a dude)- this sounds like you are unhappy now and will continue to be unhappy. And to be quite honest, it most likely will worsen over time. Your sobriety- I don’t know if this is something you ‘had’ to do or honestly chose for yourself, but regardless, it’s important for you to stay clean. An unhappy marriage will be soooo difficult to deal with and you most likely don’t want or need that.

    Sounds like you have a decision to make and this is a decision that will need to be made now or later on. Your instinct is talking to you right now. Think about what happens if you get married. Does the act of getting married help your situation or the way you are feeling right now at all? And ask yourself honestly- will you be coming back to TinyBuddha or other internet forums with the same complaints, discomfort, unhappiness, etc? Does online venting help the situation? Is that good enough to help you endure each day?

    It seems you are coming here anonymously to share your grief and internal struggle. A question to ask yourself honestly would be: How do I relieve myself of this grief? Again, you have a decision to make now or later on in your life. Same decision, with extraneous items developing along the way which can make making this decision even more complex as time goes by.

    #108357
    Karmasoda
    Participant

    a-moore3, I agree. There are so many horrible things happening in the world today. Everything looks so bleak. I wonder through all these things, where is God? Why is he not showing himself in the midst of such tragedy.

    I believe that bad things are done by those who are not in touch with God. God, to me, is available as a source of strength and enlightenment. Given we are human, we cannot avoid suffering and/or death. Is it the responsibility of God to get you that date with the girl/guy you want to go out with? Is it in God’s hands to get you that job you really want? I don’t think so- your life is a series of events, of cause and effect. Simply put- God is not to be confused with a Genie who makes our lives perfect, with everything we want, with no real effort on our part.

    #108352
    Karmasoda
    Participant

    I believe in God. When human hands get involved or in the way (Religious Dogma), I lose interest in the conversation. I have been at various points of struggle and contemplation in my life where I ‘believed’ and prayed to God and walked through these struggles and came out stronger and in a much better place. I know that when I pray to God and have my mind and body in-tune with what hope and goodness can bring, then my path is illuminated and I keep walking.

    Also see The Eightfold Path of Buddhism

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Karmasoda.
    • This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Karmasoda.
    • This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Karmasoda.
    • This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Karmasoda.
    #107167
    Karmasoda
    Participant

    Somebody said it above- you are responsible for you and he is responsible for his own self. If you cannot get along and enjoy each other’s company, then what’s the point? Fearing for his well-being and forgetting to look out for your own well-being is a nice gesture but it enables the miserable relationship to continue on, as is. You may want to ask a professional counselor for advice on how to have the kind of conversation you may need to have with your husband.

    Fear brings you DOWN and will not go away until you stand up to it. You can use grace, respect, and tact in your approach to better both of your lives.

    Peace,
    KS

    #107147
    Karmasoda
    Participant

    Hi Carole,

    Recovering from a physical injury, my physical therapist threw the phrase “motion is lotion” at me. The concept, of course, being the more moderate movement the injured joint experienced, the better and quicker it would heal. Stagnation and non-movement does not heal as well as being in motion.

    To combat depression, anxiety, and isolation, it’s very important to get out and just “do stuff”. I would encourage you to get out and do the stuff you like to do and do it often. I would also recommend learning something new that will challenge you and get the brain in forward-thinking mode. Don’t be afraid to say YES and don’t be afraid to say NO. Try to set realistic, obtainable goals and when you’ve reached those goals, have the next set ready to rock!

    Be Good to Yourself,
    KS

    #107124
    Karmasoda
    Participant

    Hello,

    Thank you for the warm welcome! In my search engine, I typed: “Peace in a cruel world”. That is how I arrived here. What a find! A little about me. My spiritual beliefs derive from growing up Catholic and then at age 20, finding Buddhism which struck an internal chord- Bigtime! As a human being, I have a tremendous amount of compassion for others, love for my family, and respect for our differences as human beings. What I work on daily is becoming a better person. I am not perfect. As a matter of fact- far from it. What seems to make me content with myself at the end of each day is when I can acknowledge that I did some really cool things, I did some things that could have been a lot cooler (and perhaps gentler, kinder), and in the closing of the day I feel genuine peace and contentment within my actions. Acceptance is the key for me and it’s empowering for me to have learned that when authenticity is present and my ‘self’ or spirit is unmasked or unfiltered, I am truly present and content. I look forward to sharing ideas, thoughts,etc with you all.

    Thank you. Have a Great Day!
    KS

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