Dear Arlene:

Welcome back to your thread. I re-read all your previous posts as well as the latest one. These are my thoughts at this point:

When you were a child your father was abusive to your mother. Your empathy was with your mother: when she hurt from your father’s abuse- you were hurt. She didn’t assert herself so you got angry for her. You got angry at your father for abusing your mother-yourself (there was no separation for you mentally, between your mother and yourself, not as a young child).

The intensity of your anger was proportional to her lack of anger, to how passive she was. Later on in life, you had relationships with strong-willed men, you wrote. This last man was not strong-willed like the other men in your life- he was softer, more needy of you, more loving.

That was what triggered your anger, as I understand it. It was like you were talking to your father and saying to him: “Now you are nice? Now? After all that you did? Too late now!”

At the beginning of your thread, you insisted that you are not angry but “frustrated”- I disagree.

You may very well be angry right this moment as you read this. Are you?

anita