Dear sehreen:

Following reading your latest post, it is my understanding that your greatest need is for someone to “care and understand” you. This is what you need most deeply and intensely. The frustration is that you feel that he cares and understands you but he lives so far away.

You need to be cared for and understood. No one but this guy online provides you with caring and understanding at this point. What I would do, if I was you, would be to get that caring and understanding in personal contact. Clearly online caring and understanding is not enough. So I would look for it in relationships you can have in person.

The first adult I got to care and understand me was my psychotherapist just over five years ago. It was the first time a grown up really listened to me, cared what I was saying, was focused on me. He made mistakes in his thinking and sometimes didn’t pay attention, but he was there for me most of the time. What a great feeling. So maybe you should see a competent, caring therapist like I did. And maybe search for friends who treat you, in person, like that young man treats you online.

Now that you do know how it looks like, someone caring for you and understanding you online, take this to in-person life. Look for the same with people you meet in person.

anita