Hi fmck32,

The very first thought that popped into my mind is this:

He criticized you constantly because it had grown into a bad habit. Instead of shutting him down at once in the very beginning of your relationship/marriage, you let him occasionally get away with it. Then it became his unthinking, unconscious default setting. Only now that you gave him a very real wake up call is he finally behaving.

Now, he may still think all these horrible thoughts. But by not voicing them, he is not giving the thoughts more reality than they deserve. Eventually, when he thinks a bad thought about you, he will think it’s just “him”. He should grow in more respect for you. Of course, he can grouse about you to other people, but not about trivial things, because he knows that he would sound ridiculous.

If he ever dares criticize you that way again, show you teeth, and carry through on your threat. Barring that, give him three times the grief he gives you. He will think twice about opening his mouth. At the very fist hint of him going back to his old ways, give a sharp, forceful, “You’re doing it again!”/”I don’t want to hear it!”

Digging deeper, you know that it is you who are resonating with all these abusive types of men. Give yourself a lot of respect. They can either change or leave, and/or higher quality men will come into your life.

Blessings,

Inky