(not sure of posts are going though so I’m trying again)

Anita,

You said:

“By effectively communicating to a woman that there is something about you that will benefit her, that will make her feel good; that there is some significant advantage for her if she gets into a relationship with you. “

So what you’re saying is I don’t deserve love. I’m fairly certain I have nothing to offer that can’t be found in anyone else with they added benefit of not being me. It’s not for a lack of trying, mind you, but it I simply can’t fathom that I have anything to offer someone else. I mean even people who beat their wives are clearly strong and powerful predators who can protect their herd from outside threats. What do I have to offer? Love? Compassion? My personality? All worthless! None of that matters because if it did someone would have picked up on it. Someone would have valued it.

I understand now. It’s really quite clear when you thing about it. I ave this CRAZY notion that love means something when in reality it’s really quite meaningless. Don’t seek relationships because they value love, no, they do so because they want to be part of a mutually equitable business arrangement with another human being. If you have nothing of value to offer someone then YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE LOVED.

Am I understanding you correctly? You see on top of having very severe depression and anxiety I also suffer from Aspberger’s Syndrome. The latter of the 3 alone means I have difficulties EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATING with people. But the former two quirks of mine basically ensure that what little social skills I do have at communicating with people (effectively) are twisted and distorted. So let me try to summarize my understanding of what you are saying, and please don’t take offense to this because I am honest to goodness try my very best to understand what you are saying and unravel the ramifications and meaning of what it entails.

“Because I have a defective brain and had an upbringing that only exacerbated and my problems and because I lack the ability to effectively communicate to people why I am worthy of love I am undeserving of love.”

Or, to further summarize: “Basically every, last existential horror and insecurity I have about myself and about life is 100% correct.”

• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by John.