Oh Lyla, I’m so sorry! What a mind f**k (pardon me, I can’t think of my delicate way to put it).

I’ll echo anita’s advice of getting in touch with a therapist or other mental health professional. Maybe join a support group of women who’ve gone through something similar. The scars (both of body and mind) of a physically abusive relationship most often need serious treatment. I encourage you every-time you’re tempted to feel sorry for him to instead channel those energies and thoughts inward instead – start brainstorming what your need to get through this. It will be a challenge to do all that mental unpacking, but it will be so worth it!

Finally – and this should go without saying – if this dude reaches out to you again, firmly tell him not to contact you ever again. If it escalates and he becomes violent again, get the police involved. Change your phone #. Move. Do what you have to do to protect yourself.

Otherwise, take good care of yourself. Go see a funny movie, spend time with those that care about you, get a mani/pedi…whatever! Self care is the best prescription for withdrawals!