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Marey-
I am SO right there! I wake up every day counting the dollars going into my bank account until I can quit. I have been living a life I THOUGHT I was supposed to lead and spent all my time making sure everyone else was comfortable, happy and fulfilled. No more.
Mr. Ritz
It sounds like you are in a bit of a depression which is likely clouding your thinking and leading you down a path of negativity. Disability is not the answer. Staying at a job where you are not happy is not the answer. Your time does become more valuable the older you get.
There are so many issues going on for you maybe start with baby steps. Try to find some peace within and stop with the negative thinking (guided meditation is really great). Next, start reading and exploring what WILL make you happy….don’t just jump to something because you think it MAY be the right thing. The Passion Test is a great book. The job that will make you happy will be something that comes from your soul. Its in there….you just have to find it. You can do it!