I’m right there along with all of you ladies.
I’ve been messing around with a guy for over a year and a half. Same thing, physical attraction, comfort, and desire–followed up with insecurities, obscurity and doubt. I had just gotten out of a relationship and just wanted someone to hangout with–he was in medical school and had no time for a girlfriend. I recently got out of seeing someone on a more serious way–but as soon as I got out of it–I called this guy. We’ve always kept in touch. He’s moving out of state at the end of his graduation so I’m pretty much waiting for that so I won’t have to be tempted with him anymore. When we’re together in the for wall of my bedroom we chat about random things, have great physical connection and enjoy eachother’s sense of humor. However, when I really think about it, I ask myself, “What do I REALLY know about this person?”. Truth be told. Nothing. For all I know he’s lied about everything and I wouldn’t even know. I’ve asked him about more personal things but he’s very vague–never gives me a clear answer. Yet, he knows where I work, where I live and has been inside my body. It definitely is very one-sided. He can contact me and I can find the time to see him–I ask and it’s always, “I have to work late”, “I can’t that day, maybe another”, etc. etc. I understand that we will never become anything, but what’s so wrong with just being cool or acknowledging that your bed buddy is a person who feels too? I’m not asking for marriage or even for him to be my bf–just be a friend, at the very least.
I’m trying to get over the one recent break up and this guy’s way of being is actually making it easy for me to use him to soothe me through it and see clearer what we are (which is pretty much bed buddies). When he leaves, that chapter will closed.
I get the being hard on yourself–going back to him and all… I get it. It’s good w/him and you’ll know what you’ll get–this makes it easier to go back to him. However, is it healthy, no, but we’re human and comfort is nice. At some point we’re going to have to let them go though. It’ll happen. I wish us all luck.
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