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Michelle

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  • July 21, 2016 at 2:08 pm #110270
    Michelle
    Participant

    @newlife123 I definitely see that his friends were the most practical, comforting and familiar option. If anything I was glad he had that outlet since I wasn’t easily accessible. It makes sense. For me it wasn’t the friend thing that bothered me, but the secret thing.
    My problem with it all was that I was hoping that what we shared and his feelings for me were enough to see me as his champion and not an added stress. It’s sad to me he saw me as the latter.

    July 21, 2016 at 12:42 pm #110263
    Michelle
    Participant

    @bestpartofday Thanks so much for your hopeful words! It’s definitely hard for me to accept since it’s been recent, but seeing that it is possible makes me feel that all is not lost and I should look forward to new things. I definitely want to take this time and work more on myself: practice self-love, realize my own self-worth and set up healthy boundaries for myself so that next time around (if/when it happens), like you said, trust the process and the impermanence of things. I don’t want to indulge in my insecurities, loneliness and depression this time around. I’m already in therapy and I plan to attend a meditation intro class next weekend. If I’m alone–I need to tell myself that it’s OKAY if I am.
    I miss him. I think I will miss him for a while–he was my roll dog. I’ll try my best not to stalk his FB page–it’s open access. And if he ends up dating someone I also need to be okay with it and not hate him and such. It’ll do me no good.
    I’m trying to be positive. Mostly because (like you said) it’s out of my control. If I don’t accept/let go–I’ll be tormenting myself.

    Thanks again for listening and for the advice! I feel it to be a virtual hug. I really appreciate it ‘cuz it’s exactly what I need.

    July 20, 2016 at 10:34 am #110146
    Michelle
    Participant

    I’m 35 and JUST finished by BA. I had been a professional student since 20. You’ll be fine, especially considering that you have full on support from your family. Take advantage of that, respectfully. You’re doing something good for yourself, not bad–so step forward with a positive foot. 😉
    I’m actually thinking about going back for my MA. We’ll see.

    July 20, 2016 at 10:21 am #110141
    Michelle
    Participant

    I’m right there along with all of you ladies.
    I’ve been messing around with a guy for over a year and a half. Same thing, physical attraction, comfort, and desire–followed up with insecurities, obscurity and doubt. I had just gotten out of a relationship and just wanted someone to hangout with–he was in medical school and had no time for a girlfriend. I recently got out of seeing someone on a more serious way–but as soon as I got out of it–I called this guy. We’ve always kept in touch. He’s moving out of state at the end of his graduation so I’m pretty much waiting for that so I won’t have to be tempted with him anymore. When we’re together in the for wall of my bedroom we chat about random things, have great physical connection and enjoy eachother’s sense of humor. However, when I really think about it, I ask myself, “What do I REALLY know about this person?”. Truth be told. Nothing. For all I know he’s lied about everything and I wouldn’t even know. I’ve asked him about more personal things but he’s very vague–never gives me a clear answer. Yet, he knows where I work, where I live and has been inside my body. It definitely is very one-sided. He can contact me and I can find the time to see him–I ask and it’s always, “I have to work late”, “I can’t that day, maybe another”, etc. etc. I understand that we will never become anything, but what’s so wrong with just being cool or acknowledging that your bed buddy is a person who feels too? I’m not asking for marriage or even for him to be my bf–just be a friend, at the very least.
    I’m trying to get over the one recent break up and this guy’s way of being is actually making it easy for me to use him to soothe me through it and see clearer what we are (which is pretty much bed buddies). When he leaves, that chapter will closed.
    I get the being hard on yourself–going back to him and all… I get it. It’s good w/him and you’ll know what you’ll get–this makes it easier to go back to him. However, is it healthy, no, but we’re human and comfort is nice. At some point we’re going to have to let them go though. It’ll happen. I wish us all luck.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Michelle.
    • This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Michelle.
    • This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Michelle.
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