Dear Anna:

My comment is not a direct answer to what you requested on this thread. I re-read your first thread from September 2015 about the two month old relationship. What an intense two months those were and how intensely those two months affected you. Clearly, you were abused by that guy and you still suffer the consequences. You wrote above, on this thread: “I am so ashamed of myself as I am still yearning for him one year after breaking up with him! He is haunting me so much”- present tense, now. You are ashamed now for yearning for him.. now. He is haunting you.. now, presently.

So I wonder if your intense fear of being alone is a fear resulting, at part, at least, from that abusive two months experience?

There are other things I wonder about.

anita