I can’t say I ever felt that way regarding the death scene. I didn’t have any problems with my family back then and I never felt that I lost my innocence or the false image of a loving parent. I always felt the death scene was touching because it featured raw human emotions and emotion is contagious. My greatest inner fear is losing my loved ones, it’s always been that and I guess that’s why it affected me so much. In fact I always feared losing Jerry too… I always feared doing something that would lead to her abandoning me. I even confessed it to her and she just laughed and told me we’ll always be together. But my fear turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I do admit the reason for lashing out at Jerry is grounded in my past experiences which we discussed much in previous posts… especially that foul encounter with the neighbour.