Dear Anita,

You are right. I do need to practice being assertive. It is not so much a problem with strangers, but rather when it’s someone related to me or whom my parents know. I don’t know, I guess I don’t want to seem rude or like a bad person. Realistically, I know that turning down requests won’t make me look like a bad person, but I still feel bad for doing it. I’ve gotten a lot better at being assertive when it comes to my judge-mental grandmother who I now refuse to visit. Stepping away from her was a big step for me, but I know that I am not as assertive as I should be.

I had never heard that quote before, but it is definitely something I will keep in mind because I can see how true it is.

That being said, I still don’t know how I will deal with this situation. I just hope it never comes up again, doubtful though. I feel that the only way in which perhaps I can get Richard and Ava to back down is if I speak with Richard directly. Since I don’t want to see him or go on a date with him I was thinking about telling my mom to tell Ava to tell Richard to send me a message through social media/add me as a friend so that I can speak to him and tell him that I am not interested. I feel that otherwise, without direct contact with me, he won’t understand. Does that sound like a good idea?

If it was a good idea though, what would I even say to him? I don’t want to cut him off right out of nowhere, rather I want to give him an informed decision about my choice not to want his friendship/courting. I know that I do not owe it to him, but I think that by explaining my motives he will better understand and accept my decision.