Dear dreaming715:

Anita is right. If you see the same pattern happening again and again in your life there’s a reason for it. As she astutely points out, since none of the posters on this board are able to observe your interactions with these men, we’d just be making wild guesses as to what could be going on, so to speculate on my part would be both unfair and unproductive.

I think in addition to the mindfulness that Anita prescribes, I recommend just shaking everything up! Going a million dates? Force yourself to only go out with one or two guys a month, if even that. Doing online dating? Change sites, or stop altogether…only date men you’ve met offline for awhile. Been playing that Miranda Lambert on repeat? Start listening to pop music in a foreign language (it’s upbeat, and if you don’t understand the lyrics they can’t drag you down). Are you a blonde? Dye your hair red. (OK, you don’t have to do that last one, but in all seriousness I love makeovers when I’m in a rut. It’s superficial, yes, but it’s still a change.) I firmly believe that any changes, even small ones, send a message to the universe, “hey, I mean business! I’m ready for something new!”

I know this probably won’t be a great panacea, but it’s a start. Remember the saying, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different result is the definition of insanity!

Good luck. I’m sure I speak for everybody when I say we’re all rooting for you!