Anita, I do not want to abandon anything but what can I say if it appears that I never cared for Jerry’s feelings? I don’t deny that I was a foul mouthed and insensitive jerk, I hurt her and in those particular flashes of anger I indeed forgot about her feelings and point of view. It’s not a special thing for her only but whenever I lost my temper with my parents or other friends, it was exactly the same. Its not that I stopped caring about their feelings. If I did not care for Jerry’s feelings then why would I have done my best to make up to her after it, wrote poems for her, gifts on New Year, stayed up all night to prepare her birthday gift even when she’s not talking to me, started posting here on this very thread since March? I don’t deny that I am selfish in wanting to be back with her again, but more than that I wish she has a happy and successful life with her loved ones, whether or not I am with her. If I can, I would always do anything for her even if I can never be with her again, even if I get no credit whatsoever for it. It pains me to say it, but I mean it.

I’m sorry. You see what I’m like, you can imagine how much she had to put up with me all these years. If there indeed is an opportunity to change myself into someone worthy of being with her, by fixing my flaws, I’m all for it.