Hi Katie,

First thing, since you mentioned the “K” word – karma – I’m going to clear up something…it’s not punishment, which is one of the big misconceptions of the concept, especially in the West. Karma (or in the Pali language, kamma) is roughly translated as action. Now, while the idea can be found in Hinduism, Taoism, and many other Eastern belief systems, I’m going to speak to the Buddhist take on it since that’s my background…karma is actually more cause and effect. You plant lemon seeds, a lemon tree grows. You do a harmful action, you suffer, not because there’s some cosmic force cursing you as payback, but because that’s the natural result of what you did. Another way to think about it is this, if it’s freezing outside, and you don’t wear a coat and you get frostbite – would you consider that some divine punishment? Probably not. You’d say, “huh, that wasn’t the right thing to do. Well, I’ve learned, and next time I’ll bundle up.”

So, coming back to you and the alphabet men…you made out with this R fellow while you were with J, and you broke things off because of it. Things didn’t work out with R, and now you’re in pain because you have feelings that you “lack of any sense of loyalty to anyone” and may have ruined things with a man that you consider to be your soulmate. You’re not alone and depressed because of karma, you are alone and depressed because you are (even if it’s not by your own choosing), reflecting on what happened and processing the feelings. When you’re done doing this important work, and learned your lessons from it, these negative feelings will go away.

We all make missteps and are flawed. Forgive yourself. Strive to do better next time. That’s what I really want to leave you with.

Many blessings your way!