Dear Aislynn:

I wasn’t able to make wifi work for me as I planned when I was out, so wasn’t able to connect.

I am sorry to read how much you suffered. Do you think it will help you if you tell your mother you are not interested, in no uncertain terms, as I suggested before?

Your dream, it makes me think it is connected to your being bullied experience in school. It is as if Ava is bullying you into getting together with Richard. I am thinking you are re-experiencing the bullying, feeling so weak and powerless against Ava’s assertion that you see her brother.

There is no way around it: for you to be less afraid, you have to assert yourself. The part of you that is afraid, the inner child, needs to trust another part of you to be strong enough to take care of her (of the child inside you).

Of course, how do you assert yourself when you are so scared? It takes an ounce of courage, maybe a whole pound of it, to jump start you to do the assertion. It is the willingness to be very uncomfortable for the purpose of getting healthier. It is like going to the dentist knowing it will hurt but your teeth will get healthy. If you don’t go to the dentist (if you don’t assert yourself), the pain (your anxiety) will continue and continue and life will get worse.

So, please, Aislynn, assert yourself. Tell your mother. The part of you that is so afraid needs to know you can exert reasonable power over the situation.

As long as you exert no power, you are dependent on others’ mercy. When you exert power over your life, you will be less scared.

anita