Hello @bartlomiej,

First off, I’m sorry you are in pain. It sounded like you really loved this woman, so please take the time to grieve your loss.

While I haven’t been in your exact situation, I have been in a relationship where I told the man, “you need to commit or I can’t do this anymore.” (We broke up.) There was also a period in my twenties when I secretly harbored hopes that a man would save me or take care of me. I’m not proud of this – I did learn two important things:

1) You cannot force commitment. Even if someone does cave in they might eventually resent your for rushing them or making them decide to do something they didn’t want to do.

2) You cannot rely on anyone else for your survival or well being. You, and only you, can create the life you want to live.

I’m sure you were hoping that this woman would not only return your feelings, but assist you in securing a green card and build a stable home in your new country. Sadly that didn’t work out.

Why she didn’t want to be with you? We can only make educated guesses. The important thing is you do the best you can to heal, work toward getting the paperwork done to become a permanent resident, get a job that provides security, etc. This is a lot – a scary to do on one’s own. I admire your bravery in moving and trying to form an emotional connection – but now you need find your own power.

Good luck to you!