I am back from the family vacation, and it was acceptable and some pleasant times. Of course, it seems that R-2 took his cues from the couple we went with. The husband adores his wife of 20 years ( his 3rd wife!) and was very sweet with her. He was always making sure she was comfortable and was attentive to her needs. I think R-2 was copying the behavior. He seemed to actually pay attention to me, as far as asking if I wanted drinks or what we could do next, see shows, hang around the pool, etc. It was odd to see that. He actually thanked me on the way home for the myriad details I took care of, for this trip to go smoothly. He is acting unusually kind and I am unclear what to make of it. As for my heart, I am getting anxious, as the first barrier I had was the vacation to go well, and not have undue trauma and emotion while out of town. Now, for part 2 barrier. getting son to college at end of August. That is coming up and then I will be face to face with what next to do……….R-2 is already talking of a vacation in first week of October. I am back at work today and feeling a little numb.

I am aware I am all alone on this, as R-1 has found out that wife refuses to sign papers for final divorce and/or agreement to sell the house (2 years of separation so far), and he still lives in the marital home shared with his grown sons. It doesn’t seem that there is any forward motion, as he cant pay for marital home and for a separate apartment. Wife lives for free with female friend, so no skin off her nose, and can delay as long as she feels. It also seems that she is waiting for R-1 to take a “misstep” so she can then demand more (the entire house signed over to her) due to her stress and hurt. It sounds like the sons are planted in the house, to watch and report his activities, as well as living off of him. She does want him to suffer and “pay” for her anger and hurt, as she sees it. I think that is what feels so sad right now. I know in my heart, I will need to proceed all by myself and only have myself for my own mental support. Phone calls from R-1 daily are nice, but that doesn’t go far enough for me. He has stated that if having to choose between me and the house, he will walk away from it all. I insist he stay, as I think that is the game his wife is playing, to see who blinks first, for a home that only has 2 more years of mortgage and then will be free and clear and worth quite a few $$.
My confusion at the moment is where is all this R-2 “niceness” coming from? I always feel emboldened when good and mad at him, but this is different. Just waiting to see, if R-2’s “vacation glow” will fade and we will be back to old tricks again.