Dear Miniature Bodhisattva:

Yes it is your second thread. I remember it very well. The example you gave reminds me of my own cringing at my efforts to be assertive for a long, long time. I was so hard on myself for not doing it…right. Is that what your cringing is about?

What helped me in my quest to be assertive was to be what I term “excruciatingly patient” with myself. All the self beating (my cringing like responses) at my imperfect performances at asserting myself did nothing to help me improve. It was only that excruciating patience with myself, endless patience that helped. At this point I think I am pretty good at being assertive. At least I am way better than I used to be.

So you are making progress. It is about Progress, not Perfection. Patient Progress. So, instead of cringing at performing imperfectly, congratulate yourself for doing better, for making progress, every single time. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

anita